Dear Best Friend

Poetry

by Adithi Shankar

typewriter (2)

Dear best friend,
I vividly remember our first encounter,
I liked your shoes, you liked my bag,
Pretty shallow, both of us were during the origins,
But it didn’t amount to much, at least then.

Dear best friend,
Do you recount that one ridiculous incident?
The one with the insane quantity of clay?
I used to chuckle about it an awful lot,
I don’t suppose Miss Dorothy would have found it as funny, though.

Dear best friend,
I still maintain that you were completely to blame,
For that one Math test in second grade that I almost failed,
It’s alright though, you did put your reputation on the line,
When you nonchalantly showed me your answers.

Dear best friend,
I was completely unprepared for our first quarrel,
Reflecting now, it had just the most laughable crux,
But two seven year olds could never hope to settle the issue of,
Whether Arceus or Mew would win a one on one battle.

Dear best friend,
I still don’t like that she called you HER best friend,
She didn’t even know that you preferred DC to Marvel,
My mother snickered and told me that I was jealous,
I don’t think I was, I obviously knew you better.

Dear best friend,
You’ll agree when I say that middle school was horrible,
I couldn’t stand anyone else, I kept getting into fights,
I felt terribly ostracized, like I would never fit in,
Honestly, I would have turned out a lot more bitter if it weren’t for you.

Dear best friend,
You and I were on opposite ends of the spectrum,
You, the stellar overachiever everyone loved, and I, the misfit everyone loved to hate,
I pretended to not hear them when they spoke in hushed tones,
About how they never understood why you appreciated my existence.

Dear best friend,
I dreaded college, because we weren’t going to the same one,
How was I expected to stand upright without my pillar?
“We’ll talk every day, I promise”, were your exact words,
It didn’t rid me of my anxiety, but it made me feel better all the same.

Dear best friend,
The first day of college was a traumatizing experience,
I locked myself in my room and cried to you, I recall,
Whatever you said to me then, I won’t reveal,
But those words were what I used every minute to heal.

Dear best friend,
When you told me about your first girlfriend, I was shocked,
I never saw you in a romantic light, so I assumed no one else would too,
But the way you talked about her and how much better she made your life,
It made me happy, hearing that unmistakable smile in your voice.

Dear best friend,
‘Participating’ was slowly becoming easier for me,
I had friends other than you, I wasn’t cold-shouldered anymore,
They’d invited me to parties and other gatherings of that sort,
For the first time ever, I wasn’t that creeper overtly reliant on you.

Dear best friend,
I was a mess when I first had my heart broken,
He seemed so genuine, but maybe I was just a blind bat,
I can never thank you enough, though, for that night,
When we stayed up hatching ploys to kill that boy.

Dear best friend,
I remember being very anxious before my first exams,
People in college were so smart, I was just mediocre and lost,
You were frank when you told me to stop being a lowly coward,
I guess I needed that more than an ‘It’s going to be okay’.

Dear best friend,
It was always I who conjured a new problem every second,
I who needed the consoling and pacifying, the incessant support,
So when you were dejected about your split up, I was clueless about what to do,
I don’t know what I said to you, but I hope I didn’t do a blotchy job.

Dear best friend,
Out of the blue, things started to change for the worse,
There was a relapse, it was beginning to become bad again,
My new friends didn’t understand it like you did,
I came back to the start, with just one friend and a sinister condition.

Dear best friend,
It might sound exaggerated, but you stitched me back up,
I didn’t take a single pill, your words were medicine enough,
I suppose I couldn’t retain my sanity without you after all,
That’s when it started, that horrendous downward freefall.

Dear best friend,
I tried reasoning it out to myself, please believe me,
But rationality saw no success, mighty, but not quite enough,
That absurd happiness was running amok, smoking everything else to the ground,
I was falling in love again, but this time, it was with you.

Dear best friend,
A part of me always had an inkling of how wrong it was,
But the more dominant part edged me on, saying things cheerful, but false,
That drunken night, I will regret for every second I have left,
Why did I tell you how I felt? Why couldn’t I have just shut up?

Dear best friend,
Everything that happened since was an unclear haze,
I tried to salvage the normalcy of our relationship, but it was too late,
I want to know what went through your mind that caused you to drift away,
When I needed you, more than ever, to just stay.

Dear best friend,
I wasn’t used to not speaking to you every day, it felt incorrect,
But you were being aloof, and I didn’t know how to mend the broken threads,
I had to start doing something that I was very inexperienced in,
I had to patch myself up, without you reciting the instructions.

Dear best friend,
I’m writing this because I don’t know how else to let you know,
If you think you’re sparing my feelings, it’s a very big no,
Or maybe there’s something else occupying your thoughts,
Maybe I don’t really know you that well after all.

Dear best friend,
These are some letters that I will never send,
But I hope for you to chance upon them someday,
I know not if they will change anything,
But you told me once, ‘ Whatever you do, don’t start losing hope’.

Dear best friend,
It’s been a really long time,
I miss you,
Please come back.


 

Salt, spice, aIMG_20170123_174155nd everything dark. These are the ingredients that make the perfect evil girls. A cartload of social awkwardness with this, and the result is Adithi Shankar. She was born with a clinical condition called RBF (read up on it). An exponent in writing extremely sad stories, she could dampen Luna Lovegood’s mood with her prose. Her love for Sakura pens is pure and true and considered disconcerting by many. If blessed with the chance, she would go out of the way to prove someone’s stupidity. The number of breakdowns she has per week is only exceeded by the number of ex-boyfriends Taylor Swift has. Given a choice, she would take off with The Doctor in his TARDIS because she’s fifty shades of done with humanity.

 

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